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Last night on the way home from work I had to stop and pick up a few things.  I loaded my purchases into the trunk of the car, and then took a few minutes to dig some loose change out of my car to pay my library fines.

I owe 50 cents, and I almost never carry cash.  I haven’t replenished my ashtray full of change in a while, so after digging around I was only able to come up with 35 cents.  I decided to delay the library trip until tonight, but did have a nice little freak-out when I couldn’t find the bottle of Sobe I had just purchased to drink.  I finally found it in the trunk.

I was beating myself up quite a bit for being unorganized, and feeling so out of control.  I was feeling a lot of anger and resentment over household chores, so I knew something had to be done.

Irish had class last night, so I went home and turned on one of the music channels through cable – Party Favorites.  I expected I would have to turn it off eventually, but it was just one song after another of fun and energy.  I heard everything from James Brown to Justin Timberlake, Sister Sledge to Lady Gaga.  Lots of fun.

I cleaned house for about an hour and a half singing and dancing to the radio.  I did a couple of loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor, took out the trash and worked up a sweat.  I had originally set the time for 40 minutes, but I decided to keep going and also count it as a workout.

When Irish got home I had him start dinner and a couple of other small chores.  He never complains when I ask him to do something, but I try to keep the requests quick and simple.

Only personal writing last night, and a couple of personal housekeeping items, but I did get some play time in.  I really needed that.

I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to last night, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.  I just have to keep a list and check things off as I go.

A friend of mine likes to send me little things she gets in her e-mail and this was today’s:

Today’s thought from Hazelden is:

It’s easy to look at all the tasks and unsolved problems and feel so pressured that we get paralyzed and don’t get anything done. It takes discipline to gather in our scattered forces and focus on one thing, one day, one step, and sometimes one hour – even when taking only that one step can seem so trivial in the face of all that looms.

Inventory Focus:
Are you creating unnecessary fear and drama by taking on more than you handle? Are you willing to trade in the I’m-out-of-control-and-overwhelmed feeling for a sense of manageability? Do you have any history with deliberately living life one day or one step at a time? How did that work?

Plans, goals, and dreams are good, but the only way to get there is one day at a time.

The link for Hazelden takes you to today’s thought on the website, which is different from that one.  They have an e-mail service where they send you a thought for the day, which is where this one came from.

I think I needed to hear that.

I was late for work today, but I’m clean and dressed and I’ve had breakfast, and really, life is full of small miracles I can look at and stop drowning in my self-flagellation.

One day at a time!